What I am

I'm thinking a lot, and looking through photos of myself on facebook here are some thoughts it's dredging up.

I am not femine.
I'm totally okay with getting dirty and sometimes I do on accident.
I am quirky.  I'm the person who's eyes are most liklely to be closed in a photo.  I'm the one who smiles too big and makes funny faces, on accident.

I'm active. I can be adamant in my beliefs and opinions.  Sometimes I step up and do or say things I think need to be done without hesitation.  Sometimes it's on purpose, other times it's because I don't think before I act. I talk about myself unabashedly.

I can be pushy because there are so many things in the world that matter that I feel people don't see.  I also want people to feel joy and be happy and I feel like people don't try hard enough to see the good things in life or the things that matter.  I myself don't.

Sometimes I need to remind myself to sit up straight, to use people's names, to nod and say thank you, I'm sure more than the average person does.

I will follow people I have faith in anywhere, but I'm not afraid to be a leader either.

About half the time I don't care how other people perceive me, I can't be anything other than myself.   The other half the time I know it's important to care to at least some extent.  If I try to stifle any part of my personality though, I won't live a fullfilling or purposeful life.


With all that being said, I do need to work on being the best of myself.

One of the cats spilled water on the kitchen floor this morning.  I stepped in it twice because I forgot it was there, and when I intended to clean it up the first time I got distracted.  So I'm also a somewhat distracted and forgetful person.

I need to remind myself that it is okay to be all of these things and to have flaws, regardless of what other people think or want, no matter how close to me they are.